I haven't posted in a REALLY long time. I dunno why, maybe i haven't had a reason to, maybe the rough an tumble of my life made me forget about it? I dunno, it seems like almost everyone is doing really well. My "sister" has a new boyfriend who is a really chill dude, but shes doing really well. I see her smile time i see her it makes me so happy to see how well shes doing.
But for the reason that I'm really writing tonight. There is this girl who makes me just so happy. I can be just having the SHITTYEST day on the face of the planet, and i can call her and i feel like all the crap i went through that day is gone and nothing matters. Shes AMAZING, she snowboards and sail's, shes funny, beautiful, and the only downside is that she lives kinda far away. She hasn't had a perfect life but does that really matter? To me? not at all, tonight we had a discussion about our feelings and what we think will happen and what we need to think about and do right now. Then she got REALLY upset about a picture she found on Facebook of her and her EX. She went into a bunch of details that scared me so badly because this kid has no respect for anything. If he went to my school he would of had his ass beaten so many times for the things that hes done. Recently she said something that really bothered me "I don't understand why you would like me" it got me so upset but she said it as a hypothetical question and asked me not to answer it. But tonight after she found the picture she found of her and her EX and she was super upset, i told her exactly why i like her and why shes such an amazing person
"Your beautiful,funny and awesome. Just hearing your laugh can make a day that has been so shitty to one thats been amazing. When I'm around you is seems like time is going to fast, and i wish i could beg for more. Your jokes can always make me laugh when I'm in a bad mood. Your smile is perfect the way it is. Your hair is amazing all the time even tho you say its a "mess". If i could relive one night it would be the allnighter we did, it was the most fun iv had in a REALLY long time. I just want you to be happy, thru the good and the bad im never planning on leaving you"
The whole time i was writing that i was crying, because i knew how upset she was. She aways says that
"Guys aren't the same, they all just hurt me in different ways."
If i could show her one thing in the world is that i would never hurt her in anyway.
I wish that she would believe me when i tell her this...
~TWM~
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